i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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