Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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