Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
