So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
