I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize