Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
