Have you finally orgasmed yet?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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