i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Randomize
