College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
