I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We just shotgunned beers for America
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
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I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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