The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
