I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
