I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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