My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
