Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
