Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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