I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
