I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
