I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize