i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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