I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
