I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
