its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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