everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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