I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
