I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
