What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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