I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize