Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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