i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
