lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
