real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
