i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
