After last night, I could never be a politician.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
