there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
