fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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