Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
barbara walters just said penis...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
