We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
