Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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