Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
