That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
