i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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