Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
