I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'm really busy with my period
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