sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
