I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
