i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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