there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
