She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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