I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
