So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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