I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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