When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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