im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He shit in the fireplace
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
