that's an acceptable place to lick
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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