I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
