ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then my night got REAL pukey
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
