Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
