My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
