Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
