its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
