Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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