He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
